I feel Inspired

After watching this inspirational video from youtube, I'm moved. Everyday for me is nothing but living on this earth useless. I don't know the purpose of living here on this earth, nothing but hearthache that makes u down. But after watching this I cried and feel ashamed of myself.

The video I'm talking about is the Team Hoyt, father and son "Dick and Rick". Dick father love Rick so much that is why they did charitable marathons. Very inspirational video that makes me think of myself thinking of bad thoughts. I cried while watching it, I know some of you guys already watch it few years ago about them, I'm so old news.

Be very thankful wit everything you got.

4 cuts and i felt nothing

Always feel empty, always feel alone. A never ending story of mine that will not stop hunting me until I say "I give up" and finish my life. I feel that is the only way to make this craziness that keep me confuse all the time. I depend on my feelings, feelings that makes me cry all the time, thoughts that make me call for the angel of death to get me, but there is two angels besides me keep me alive and that is my two daugthers. I just cry everytime that I wanna do it but staring at this innocent lives that I will leave. How can they survive without me? Maybe they can, but what is the consequence of not having a mom beside them? Is that will affect them? I hate myself so much because I am being selfish at them when I call for death. I am a stupid person if i do that, loser in short.

How can I deal with this? It drives me crazy. I always found myself staring while lying on bed. I feel tired all the time. I don't want to socialize with other people. I dont feel eating. Depression, some of the people call it but for me I wanna call it never ending pain.